How to Survive when your son's teacher tells you she thinks your son has ADHD
You've kind of known all along that something was wrong with Little Johnny. He is really busy--always moving and talking. It doesn't seem like he can ever sit still. Oh, but, come to think of it, he is pretty still when he's playing Playstation. So, maybe he doen't really have ADHD. Maybe the diagnosis is a mistake.
Johnny's grandfather says "Little Johnny is just exactly like I was when I was a kid. He's just an active boy, that's all." But the teacher says he won't stay in his seat, and he blurts out answers without raising his hand. She says he stops when I call him down about it, and seems to genuinely feel sorry. But then he does it again in a few minutes.
Little Johnny's Dad says "I don't think anything's wrong with the boy that a few swats on his bottom with the paddle won't cure." He says that he was a lot like that when he was a kid, and his Dad's belt seemed to help him. He says he's going to start spending a little more time with Johnny--throwing the ball around, fishing, camping. He thinks that will help solve the problem.
Our next door neighbor says Johnny can't spend the night any more with their son. He won't sit still when they are watching TV and he is constantly interrupting and asking questions. And furthermore, when it's time to go to bed, he is up for hours getting a drink, talking, and making noise.
When your son's teacher said she thinks he has ADHD, it brings up a lot of deep emotions.
SHOCK......................that this could happen to "your" child.
CONFUSION................what are your options. You've heard and read so many things. What is really true?
DISAPPOINTMENT............that you didn't recognize this problem earlier.
DENIAL............its's all a big mistake.
FEAR............about how the ADHD will be treated and how your son will be treated.
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What You Need Now is Real FACTS You Can Depend On and Someone to Take You By the Hand and Help You Get Through This Thing
No one said it would be easy. Since kids are all so different, wouldn't it be great if they came with an "Instruction Manual". Most people don't read those anyway, but at a time like this it might come in handy.
You need to find out what the diagnosis really is. You need to have some questions answered--questions that any intelligent and caring parent would have after finding out your child may have ADHD.
Here are some of those questions:
Why?
What did I do wrong?
Who's fault is it?
What about all those medicines they use? Aren't they dangerous?
Won't he get "labeled" at school and treated differently?
Won't the treatment be really expensive?
How am I going to tell his Dad and Grandfather? They'll never buy that diagnosis.
Will he be able to graduate from school? I've heard that a lot of kids with ADHD quit?
And I can't even think of all the questions I need to ask.
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I've watched parents struggle and worry over their kids.
For the 30 + years I have been taking care of kids with ADD and ADHD, I have watched parents struggle with these questions. Most are really worried that their child will never have a good experience with school--indeed may never complete school or may never go to college.
Many parents are plagued by guilt feelings about their parenting skills. An almost universal question for me is "Why?...Why me and why my child?"
For years I have been trying to find a way I can help wider group of parents who are struggling with these questions.
Finally I have been able to slow down in my Private Practice and develop this Website, a Newsletter, a Blog, and a Forum.
I hope that you will find it helpful. Please post in the Blog &/or Forum. I try to read the posts regularly and make comments.
Several E Books and Software Tools are in Development.
If you have any comments of ideas of things that would really help you, email me at:
DrJerry@ADHDStrategies.com
I want to help you "be the best person you can be"
Dr. Jerry Is Online
Jerry Rodgers, M.D.
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